It's Not Summer Without You
by CryChick12345
Summary: I left camp. I was worried about what was around the corner. I was afraid of myself. It was because of him, too. Percy Jackson- I, Nico di Angelo, am not interested in avoiding him or turning the other cheek anymore. Instead we're going to go head to head, because neither of us wants to back down. But, in reality, I would rather love than fight.
1. Chapter 1

**It's Not Summer Without You **

* * *

**Summary: ****I left camp. I was worried about what was around the corner. I was afraid of myself. It was because of him, too. Percy Jackson- I, Nico di Angelo, am not interested in avoiding him or turning the other cheek anymore. Instead we're going to go head to head, because neither of us wants to back down. But, in reality, I would rather love than fight. **

**Rating:**** M (For cursing and sexual themes)**

**Pairing:**** Percy and Nico**

* * *

**A/N:****Hello there everyone! I just wanted to say thank you all so, so, so much for checking out my new fan fiction. Lately I've been writing a few fan fictions here and there, not really finishing any of them, but I want this fan fiction to be a major one: The chapters will be longer by my standard writing length (which is about 2,000 to 3,000 words), there will be more chapters then my average fan fictions, and I'll be revising my chapters a lot before posting them (I'm sad to say that I don't really do this with….well, any of my fan fictions). I hope with this fan fiction I'll be able to do something that I haven't been able to do with any of my other fan fictions with like quality standards and just an interesting plot. I'm just hoping a few of you will stick with me so that I can make a great fan fiction. **

**Oh, I also wanted to say sorry about such a cheesy title. It really sucks, but I thought it was kind of cute at the time. Also, this fan fiction is in first person point of view or Nico's point of view, which I really hate to do, but I thought that would be best for this fan fiction. I hope that doesn't bother anyone. **

**Another thing is I won't be updating this fan fiction for a while. I know that probably gets a little annoy when you're reading a fan fiction and then it's just like "Hey! Where's the next chapter?!" That's how I always feel when reading a story and it's not finished. I hate not updating a chapter for like forever and then people are like "Did you just give up on this or what?" I usually update all of my fan fictions within a ten day period (or I try to), but with this one it will probably be updated about once every three weeks or so. **

**Anyways, thank you once more for checking out my brand new fan fiction! That means just so much to me and I appreciate it! **

* * *

_D__ear Percy, _

_I know you'll probably never understand this and I don't expect you to. I'm not brave enough to tell you the entire truth, but I do need to come to terms with this or else I'll just be in pain every day. I get those stupid butterflies and I hate it. Every time I see you or see you smile I get that damn fluttering in my stomach and it won't stop until you're gone. I beg that it will stop- I beg that I'll get over this and everything will be alright, but I know that's not going to happen. I'll never stop feeling this way. It scares me, terrifies me even and I don't have the courage to admit it. I don't want to lose you, although I know if I want to come clean you'll never speak to me again. I never wanted it to come to this, but I can keep it to myself any longer. I love you, forever and always. I fell for everything about you; the flaws that you have, the way you fumble over your words when you're not sure what to say, the ways you walk, swaying with such a powerful, beautiful confidence, the way your laugh explodes out, filling the room with such a light, airy sense of happiness, your beautiful smile that I have been so graced to see, your scent, your humor, your voice, your warmth, everything that makes you , you, and ,most of all, I fell for your eyes. Your beautiful eyes that shine like pools of turquois, deep as the darkest ocean, rolling and swaying like the tender waves of the ocean crashing against the shore, betraying you every thought with one gaze. You're such an amazing, stunning person- strong, cunning, beautiful, and amazing in every possible way. I love you and I will until the day I die and during the life after that. _

_Through my darkest hour, you keep me going. Everything about you gives me strength, allowing me to know everything will be alright as long as you're close. You're my light. You're my hero and you always have been. The first time I meet you, the first time you saved my life, I could help but thing how amazing you are. How utterly and completely perfect you were. You were my dream come true. I thought my dreams were amazing, but I quickly learned that reality is better because here I get to see you. _

_Am I crazy for falling in love with you? Yes, yes I am. I know this would never, ever work. I know that you could never care about me in that way or in way. Even though I have learned this, memorized it by heart, I can't seem to let you go. I want you. I need you. You mean so much to me. It doesn't matter how much I care about you, it doesn't matter how much I want you, I know you will never love me back. I don't know why I care about you when all you have ever done is wreak me. I don't know why I keep trying to get your attention. I know the best thing for me to do is to give up on this, but I can't. I can't bring myself to do it._

_I love you Percy Jackson. I love you with all my heart, no matter how much you hurt me, how much you break me. It doesn't matter what you do, but I will always care about you. If you ever need anything or anyone I will always be here for you. I will always love you. _

_Love, Nico di Angelo_

The paper crumbled under my warm fingers before dropping to the floor of the Hades cabin with a dull noise, so soft that it was barely heard. I looked at it with distaste, wondering why I wrote the damn thing in the first place. Kicking it weakly with my foot I watched it roll away, being discarded to some random area around my cabin. With a deep sigh I collapsed to the bed behind me, the lower bunk creaking as my weight pressed down on it.

Take a summer evening in a Greek training facility located on the Long Island Sound and mix in a bit of depression and confusion- then you have every day of my life. Dig a little deeper and you'll also find a bit of heartbreak, deep sorrow, and a flickering flame that burns for one single person. It may sound strange- being such a downer, but having such a passion that I keep guarded. When you've been pushed around your entire life you learn to keep the most precise things under lock and key. You also learn that isolation is your best friend, no matter what.

Now that I think about it, tonight is a special occasion: one year since the battle on Olympus, one year since Kronos was defeated. It such a shame- so many lives lost at that time, yet instead of mourning everyone is celebrating. It's also a shame that once again I am left out, sitting here all alone, scrawling words in my note book. Propping myself up on one elbow, I peering through the room. In the fading light of the Hades cabin I see the notebook lying face down on the floor where I left it. I swing my legs off the side of my bed before grappling for the notes, flipping through them absently. I tried to approach the situation multiple times, writing letter after letter to the son of Poseidon before marking them out jaggedly. Running my fingers across the page I feel the deep dents where I had pressed the pen harshly to the paper, blotching out the messages with enough force to break through the sheet. Half the words were unreadable, being written in such rough, quick hand writing that I couldn't even make out my own words. As I stared at the ink stained pages I felt wounded, like each stroke of the pen was striking me through the heart, burning me to the core as I bleed out. Of course that sting wasn't enough to be dwelled upon. I've been hurt before and this definitely isn't the worst thing to happen to me, but it was one that cut deep. I would give it that.

Clutching my stomach I rolled my shoulders back, feeling tension boiling inside of me. I don't fully understand why the words on the page (words that I wrote) caused me to feel so sick, but I just went with it, trying to coax the bile back down my throat. Maybe it was the sudden realization that I was this weak or maybe it was just because I had eaten something foul (although that was highly doubtful). Either way my stomach rolled, curling in on itself and gnawing on my insides. Tossing the notebook back to the floor, listen to the clattering of the metal rings against wood, I turned away, holding my head in my hands. I rubbed my cheek gently, feeling the heat rise on my face, burning me like a thousand suns. I lay my hands on the side of my neck, noting the way the skin felt agitated and broken out. Was it possible that this much stress was causing me to break out?

I jumped when there was a knock on my cabin door, stumbling back and fumbling to keep my balance. I stretched my arms upwards and ran long, spidery digits through my raven hair before surging towards the door, not wanting to seem frazzled.

My first thought when I opened the door was simple- gods damn it. Envy was something that I had always had trouble with and the last thing I needed was to see the girl that had everything I wanted. The jealousy automatically roared in my head as I stared at those striking gray eyes that flooded with an intense light, shimmered as if it was a snowflake caught in the first rays of sun. She stared back at me, bright eyes boarding from that beautiful heart shaped face. The sun caught in her golden hair, reflecting the radiance like a mirror, shimmering with a holy, god like power. I had to admit it- Annabeth Chase would be a stunning immortal, her beauty lasting for all eternity, never fading through the wear of time.

She wasn't the only one who would look becoming with the sheen of immortality. I swallowed that thought down as Annabeth waved her hand at me, trying her best to keep my attention.

"Uh…..Hello, Nico." The words slithered from between her cherry red lip as she grappled for my attention. Although Annabeth gave me a knowing and warming smile, I could see her wavering. I and Annabeth had never been best friends. The major reason we never got together was the rumors. Through the time since I had first arrived at Camp Half-Blood the words had been flying back and forth- people saying that I loved Annabeth, other's saying that Annabeth loved me, some saying that we were both locked in a hidden relationship, afraid to present it to the world that we were together. Even though she had probably heard everything and anything about us, Annabeth still seemed weary of me, terrified that she would strengthen the fire and keeping it burning. Me, on the other hand, didn't really care what the others said. Everyone has been the center of a rumor at some point and I figured it would just blow over after a while. Or, at least, I hoped it would.

"Hey, Annabeth," I muttered before fiddling with the hem of my vivid orange Camp Half-Blood t-shirt, "What's up?"

"Actually, Nico, I'm not really sure what I came here to talk about," A nervous laugh escaped Annabeth's lips as fiddled with the end of her ponytail. The giggles faded away as she realized I wasn't laughing or cracking a smile, "I mean I came here to give you a message. It's not from me, but it's from Chiron. He wanted to talk to you. I hope you have a few minutes to spare. Chiron promised me that it wouldn't take more than a few minutes. Sorry if that's such a problem for you. I never like to disrupt or annoy any one. I hate being a burden."

Rocking on her heels, Annabeth stared at me, waiting for a response. There wasn't much to say really, unless I wanted to make small talk with the girl (which was clearly out of the question). Instead I just shook my head, nodding a brisk yes.

"I guess I could go talk to him," I shifted tenderly beside the door to my cabin, not really showing much emotion. Holding my arms across my chest I grimaced, "I probably did something wrong. Gods… Of course it would happen today. The worst day of my life just keeps getting better."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Nico. I hate that you're having such a bad day. Is there something you want to talk ab-"

"No! There's nothing I need to talk about." I barely paid attention to my own words as they flew from my lips, an edge of coldness coming out as well. Without a moment of hesitation I stride passed her, jostling Annabeth's shoulders as I clawed my way from the doorway. I slammed the cabin door behind me, although it just hit the frame and clambered back, not shutting completely. I didn't bother to try again. All I wanted was to get away from her. I didn't need help with anything or from anyone and just forcing those few words from my lips was like chewing on rusty nails. In fact, I would have taken the rusty nails any day. Annabeth was one that I couldn't stand. She had everything I wanted and more. I would give anything to be in her shoes.

* * *

By the time I was done talking with Chiron I was starving. The empty pit in my stomach seemed to grow with every step as I made my way to the dining pavilion. The Greek columns rose over above the pavilion as I moved closer, torches blazing from their place at the panicle of the poles. The gentle wind wisped the fire back and forth, rippling through the sky with the tender movements of an unnatural force. The pavilion was lined with tables, one representing each of the gods and since the battle with Kronos and the acceptance of all children of the gods new dining tables had been added, one being my own. To be bluntly honest, I would rather not even have a table. I would much rather sit outside the pavilion, among that shadows, rather than being at the Hades table all by myself where everyone could see how much it hurt. Sometime I wished I had other brothers and sisters at Camp Half-Blood, but since losing Bianca, I learned that it's better to not have anyone. I don't like being alone, but it's so much easier that way. Isolation is my best friends, no matter what. With no walls and no roof I walked briskly through the pavilion, looking away with my gaze focused on the ground, staring at the long gray scar that marred the earth under my feet. It was hard to imagine that a few years ago I had so much anger, so much hatred inside of me, that I was able to do something like this. It was an action that I used in defense, but it was fueled with such a startling anger, one which still seethed inside of me whenever I thought about that moment. It terrifies me that I might fall into such a dark place again, although I know I am already on that road.

Sitting down with a sigh I tapped my fingers lightly on the table top, feeling the soft cloth against my hands and moving fingers briskly across the white fabric. Looking down at the goblet beside my hand I watched the dark liquid slosh around in my cup. It's strange- the goblets are never empty and they always know what you want (my favorite drink being Coke), but what happens when you can't decide what you want to drink? Will it mix the two together or will the cup be empty until you make a decision? My thoughts were disrupted as wood nymphs served out dinner: BBQ, strawberries, fresh bread, and cheese. Picking up a fork I prodded at the food in silence, my sudden hunger leaving me for no apparent reason. Although the meal smelled delicious I pushed the plate away, not bothering to catch the single strawberry that rolled from the plate and across the table cloth, staining the beautiful fabric with scarlet juice.

I glanced around routinely- something that I often did. Being alone, I didn't have much to focus on so I simply listened in to what others were saying. This probably isn't a valid idea, knowing how some people could be offended about this, but it wasn't like anyone was going to engage me in a conversation so I might as well take a silent place in others, adding in my own comment through my mind. Glancing around the pavilion I tried to find a topic that interested me. There were only a few tables that were close enough to me to where I could actually hear their words; the Aphrodite table, the Apollo table, and the Athena table. My eyes flickered around wildly, catching hints of different conversations. Drew from the Aphrodite table was jabbering on about how troubling it was that some boy from the Apollo cabin was lusting after her, writing her poems and songs, giving her gifts. I snorted. Who wouldn't want a boy to do that? To be honest I would love to have someone do that for me, but I would never admit it.

Rolling my eyes, a sense of anger burning in my chest, I moved on. Turning to face the Apollo table, I was trying to tune into the words flying between the group, but my attention was quickly captivated by something else, something beyond that table. Percy Jackson was sitting alone at his table, picking at his food like it was some sort of bug under a Microscope. He prodded the meal before impaling a plump strawberry and shoving it into his mouth, the delectable, sweet juices dribbling down his chin. He once again speared another fruit and lifted it to his mouth, only to hold it suspended in the air, lingering near his mouth.

I shifted uncomfortably as his eyes drew up to me, twinkling a bright, airy hello. I lifted my hand gently to wave before quickly forcing it down, my cheeks flaring up as I realized how quaintly he was smiling. The fluttering in my stomach sparked up, filling me with such a light feeling like I was floating. It was amazing, being able to grapple onto this feeling and hold it tight. Sheen of sweat dripped down my skin as I began to get nervous, afraid that I would do something embarrassing or disgusting. The feeling of those beautiful eyes focused on my caused my stomach to curl. How long would he stare at me? It wasn't like I was beautiful or anything. I wasn't worth anyone's time. You could see that by just looking at me. Black shaggy hair that always looks as though I had just gotten out of bed no matter how many times I brushed it, my skin paled to an ivory white, dark eyes framed with thick black eyelashes, arms and legs that didn't belong to my short form, long spidery digits that curved from my fingers with pointed, sharp nails at the end; I definitely looked like a freak. I don't understand why Percy would even bother acknowledging my existence. He's a hero, a golden boy, Camp Half-Blood's champion. It doesn't make since why he would even give me the time of day.

Looking back at the other boy I realized he was still staring, eyes glinting with an odd shine. A tiny smile curved upon my lips as I watched him through half lidded eyes. He was beautiful to tell the raw, honest truth. I watched the sun catch in his raven hair, spilling across his body, and giving him a holy outline of golden light. Those sea green eyes shone bright, drowning me in that striking turquois eyes. He had such a gorgeous, exotic look that captivated me and rocked me to the very core, sending hot and cold chills down my spine. The burning desire flooded my chest, consuming me. I shifted lightly in my chair now wanting to run for the hills. Turning away, my smile officially fading from my lips, I looked back at the plate before me, trying my best to ignore the gaze that was still locked on me.

After a moment of avoiding his gaze I turned back for a moment wanting to catch one more look at the striking, lovely creature that sat across the pavilion. The conclusion was bitter sweet as I stared at him, realizing that he was no longer looking at me and had returned to his food. I stared for a second, watching him chop on another strawberry. He was absolutely adorable as he ate- the way his eye squinted while he chew and content smile that coasted onto his lips as he tasted the delectable food. I got one thing out of that glimpse; more butterflies.

Turning back to my food I just sat there, letting the emotions roll over me and bring forth a new sense of warmth. It wasn't until a piercing gaze landed on my back that I felt strange, all comfort and desire flooded out of my form, leaving me feeling hollow and empty. I stole a gaze at Percy, realizing that he wasn't the one staring considering he was facing his food, eating sloppily. My head reeled back and forth looking for the perpetrator that watching me. A jagged shiver cascaded up my spine as I froze.

I stared at Annabeth, our eyes meeting with a cold, cynical gaze. We held each other's stare until, suddenly, her eyes softened, showing a part of her I had never seen. Her eyes were flooded with sympathy and understanding, almost a sense of longing. I didn't understand why she was looking at me like so. My only wish for that moment was to get away from her peering gaze. I turned away briskly, stabbing my fork into any piece of food I could grapple to before shoving it into my mouth and swallowing deeply. I prayed that if I just started eating she would look away and leave me alone. She didn't.

* * *

By the time dinner was over I decided to skip the campfire, going straight to my cabin. I would have loved to sit with Percy for a while and talk during the camp songs, but tonight I just retreated to my home. The thing with Annabeth shook me up, scaring me slightly. I didn't like the fact that she was staring at me with such a strange look.

It was quite easy to skip out on the camp fire and avoid Chiron's gaze while everyone shuffled to find their seats. Jogging towards the cabins I passed several people: Grover, the Stoll brothers, and Clarissa (who cursed at me when I bumped into her, threatening to rain the wrath of Areas down on me if I dared cross her again). After my run in with Clarissa and receiving a new bruise on my left arm when she tossed me to the ground, I strolled to my cabin, only feeling content when I was behind the door and locking it. Crossing the room, stripping down from my aviator jacket and Camp Half-Blood t-shirt, I lay down on my bed, shoving over the content that was piled at the foot. Forcing my back down, allowing some of the tension to flood away from me, I closed my eyes and hoping to find some source of relief.

It wasn't until I noticed my water being moved that I thought something was off. Looking at the water bottle, focusing on the drink intently, I clearly remembered leaving it on the end of my trunk rather than my bed. Sitting up gently I glanced throughout the room several times.

"Oh gods…." I cried, jumping up from the bed. I walked around the room rough four times before jogging back to my bunk.

"No….No!" I cried out as I pushed items off my bunk, watching them sprawl across the floor in all direction. Ink pens, markers, books, magazines, and a water bottle clambered to the floor, each one hitting the hard wood with a deep clunk. I grappled outwards, knocking more stuff out of my way, as I entered a frenzy, terrified of what was now registering in my mind.

"Shit!" I pricked my finger on the splintered post of my bed as I leaned back, the skin automatically becoming irritated and red before a drop of blood blossomed after a second. Quickly wiping the blood on my pant leg I surged forward, dropping to my knees in front of the trunk at the end of my bed. I spilled the contents out onto the floor as I tipped the chest on its side: sunscreen, an extra Camp Half-Blood t-shirt, bug spray, a pack of mythomagic card, a sleeping bag, a bottle of nectar, an extra pair of tennis shoes. Despite all that my note book was nowhere to be found. I already knew it wasn't possible for the book and letters to wrangle their way into my trunk. I know I specifically left them sitting on the floor along with that long crumpled note that I wrote this morning. There was no doubt that someone had been in my cabin. There was also no doubt that whoever it was had found my notes to Percy.

With a heavy heart I kicked at the items at my feet, placing a dent in the side of my nectar bottle. Thousands of thought whirled through my mind, pounding inside my brain like the deep beating of a kick drum. Shaking my head I swallowed harshly before bending over and collecting the items that I had tossed to the floor in my moment of rage.

As I collected my items a sudden thought dawned on me. The only person who had been near my cabin at all through out the day was me (of course) and one other.

"That little bitch..." I cursed under my breath.

* * *

**A/N: Well once again thank you all for reading and I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please leave a comment telling me what you thought and if you think I should continue. That really helps me and allows me to know if this is something that people like or not. :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**It's Not Summer Without You**  
**Chapter 2: ****Unraveling**

* * *

**A/N: Hello there everyone! Thank you so, so, so,so much for returning to my fan fiction for the second chapter. I've loved reading all your comments and hearing what you thought of my first chapter. Sorry that it took me so long to get this one posted. I hope you all like this chapter. Please leave a favorite or a comment once you finish reading.**

* * *

The air was coated with the deep scent of burning wood and roasted pines as I made my way through camp, being careful to avoid any contacted with another being. Several people shuffled about, straggling away from the fire in sleep like dazes as the fading consciousness settled upon them, night beginning to creep through the cracks in the wavering evening sun. The very sound of the campers footsteps scared me, sending a stinging shock through my spine. With each passing second I became more and more terrified of what was to come. If any of them knew about the letters they didn't mention it, although the few who did catch a glimpse of me stared onward with strange gazes. Then again, I would too if I saw someone creeping through camp like they were about to pull of a robbery, being careful not to spoil their heist.

The wavering plumes of smoke arose from the camp fire, making the air thick and heavy with the sweet smell as I continued on with my trek. Being so close to the huge swarm of campers made me nervous, although swallowing my fear was something I did with ease. Being a demigod you had to learn at some point that fear was your enemy. It would only slow you down- get you killed even. It was with a heavy heart, however, that I etched along the outer ring of the circle, being careful not to draw attention to myself from the shadows. I could have easily shadow traveled, but what was the point. I would only end up tired afterwards and for what? Just to get across camp. It seemed like such an easy fix, but it would take so much effort.

Holding my head in my hands as I walked I tried my best to block out the cheerful chatter among the other demigods, feeling dizzy and sick. My entire body was breaking down- becoming weak from fear, from anger, from pain. I hated to sound so self-centered, but I doubt swallowing my fear and bottling up all my emotions was going to work this time. That only left one choice as far as I could see: being bitchy and feeling sorry for myself. To tell the truth I would rather take neither choice and feel nothing at all instead.

A booming voice echoed from the camp fire as I glance over at the others. From the shade of darkness, just outside the blinding, burning white circle of light, I could make out the face of those who were partying, cheering, and having as much fun as possible. Everyone seemed cheerful and carefree, especially Travis Stoll who slapped his hands together with a cry of intense pleasure, laughing manically at nothing in particular. Other faces blurred before me as well: Clarissa, who was bounding around the crowd, going on and on about something. Conner sat beside Travis, now laughing just as hard as his brother. Chiron and Mr. D surveyed over the campers, one having a quaint smile and the other looking down at the coke can in his hand with self-pity. I also noticed Percy, sitting between Annabeth and Grover, smiling away at the others. His hair was tossed carelessly across his face, ruffled from a long day of training. From the way he was sitting his shirt was plastered to his skin, showing off every curve of his body, every hard muscle of his stomach. With a gently hand he swiped a thick string of hair from his eyes, exposing those ocean green orbs completely. I felt that tense pit of longing in my stomach, although I quickly beat it down, forgetting the beautiful demigod I had been focused on moments prior and instead got back to the task at hand.

It was at that point that I took notice of Annabeth. In the blazing radiance of the fire I could see the lines etching across her face, body tense with frustration and (possibly) guilt. My heart squeezed in my chest as I watched her run a single hand through thick blond locks, crumpling her hair even more than before. It was with a sudden toss of the head that she was facing me, eyes boarding at me through the darkness. Pain spread through her body like a virus, expanding at a intense rate. I knew that she saw me and she knew that I saw her. Neither of us moved. Instead we sat there with our eyes locked, not breaking the gaze until she turned towards Percy. I ran.

* * *

Everyone knows that feeling when you do something awful and you don't know how to fix it. Right now, that feeling was utterly consuming me. Looking around the Athena cabin, eyes wild as I took in the damage that had been brought upon by my own hands, I know I deserve what ever karma has in store for me. Moments prior I had completely destroyed the clean and collected format of the rooms, all order being expelled as I trashed the area. All the sheets and blankets were pulled off the bunks, now laying crumbled in the floor. Trunks had been pulled open, there contents now pooling out onto the ground. Only one case was left untouched. My eyes glowered down at the brown trunk with golden clasps, the name scrawled across the cover in beautiful black handwriting: Annabeth Chase. My stomach curled inwards as I said the name softly, allowing it to roll from my tongue.

"Perfect, little Annebeth Chase..." I snorted. I know what people say about Annabeth; she's pretty, she's smart, she's clever, she's golden. She's the most precious thing that ever stepped foot in camp, yet she stooped so low. Her act has fallen way the hell short. If she wanted to take the fucking letters, she should have come up with a more clever plan.

I dropped down to the floor, my knees making a harsh clinking noises as I struck the hard wood, before swinging open Annabeth's trunk and peering inside. In a matter of seconds the contents were spilled out on the floor. Annabeth's dagger came first, hitting the ground with a loud ping. Next I drew out the few bottles that were pressed against the outer side of the trunk: her sunscreen, bug spray, and a jar of nectar. More contents spilled out, this including a pair of pear green flip flops, a midnight blue sleeping bag that was tucked into a roll, an architecture book, a extra Camp Half-Blood t-shirt, her Yankees cap, and a emergency cell phone.

Glancing back down into the trunk I realized I had left something out. Reaching down I coaxed my fingers around the chubby little teddy bear's stomach, picking it up with care as though the toy was made of glass rather than stuffing. Pressing down on it's belly softly I felt the plushness under my tender fingertips. The teddy bear was soft and warm, although it was wore and patches of fur were missing in places. A small smile coasted calmly across my lips as a sudden heat poured through my stomach and into my chest giving me a striking and unknown sense of comfort. Just this small little item spawned a whirl wind of emotions and memories. The last time I had teddy bear was back when Bianca was still alive. She actually got one for me because I had trouble sleeping at night. Now, thinking back to those times I feel even more weak than before, know that I relied on someone so much only to have them whisked away from me. Only for them to become a faded memory.

Tossing the teddy bear back into the trunk, my pleasure now dissipating, I began piling on objects, not caring what order they fell in. A soft growl came from my lips as my faint window of hope began to close. My stomach twisted, wondering where the letters could be. Did Annabeth have them with her? Did she give them to Percy?!

With my heart beat escalating I jerked back to my feet, terrified. Surging towards the door of the Athena cabin my hand slammed harshly into the wall. I had to admit that guilt flooded my body, afraid that I had broken something. Even though I regretted it I slammed the cabin door as well, actually hoping that I had broken something this time. The hatred I felt for Annabeth was consuming, eating away at my chest and stomach causing me to just...hurt. Storming outside I gritted my teeth.

It wasn't until I heard the hateful snicker that my mind registered the form standing in front of me. Being so focused on the letters I didn't even notice Clarissa. A cry exploded from my lips as I was shoved to the ground, a foot quickly landing on my chest.

I stared up at her before realizing the smile that laced her lips. I also realized what was clutched between her finger tips. A whimper escaped my lips.

The bitter grin was focused down over me as Clarissa held the crumbled, ink stained notes between her plump fingers, my own cursive, scrawling hand writing boarding back at me. My chest clenched as those angry word swam before my eyes, imprinting themselves somewhere deep into my mind to where I couldn't erase them. The marks struck me deep- like a hot iron straight to my heart. My pale fingers grappled outwards barely brushing against the crisp, creased lines before the letters were once again pulled away, the seething words glowering over me with an extensive loathing. I wish I had never written those damn things in the first place!

Before I could make another mad grab Clarissa's hands flew open, the letters now raining down on me as she let go. One of the crinkled wads of paper hit my face causing me to flinch back as a sharp corner clipped my left eye before tumbling back to the gritty earth. Once again I reached outwards, clinging to the notes in my hands as though they would be whisked away at a moment's notice. Ivory fingers turned red as I applied pressure, my own nails coaxing into my skin and piercing tiny holes through the papers in my hands. I let out a growl of indignity, my face bowed towards the ground as embarrassment flared in my chest. Shades of red crept across my cheeks before cascading down my throat and shoulders, my skin becoming flushed and irritated. It was like a knife straight through my throat. This wasn't a matter of love or loss- this was a matter of pride and right now my self-esteem was at rock bottom. Not only was it degrading to have those words thrown back in my face, but it was absolutely mortifying to have my personal feeling paraded around camp for the other's amusement. They could beat me, they could curse at me, throw me around, break me, but those things would mean nothing to me as long as I had some shred of pride left in me. Right now, every ounce of my self-worth was out the window. I swear- as long as I am still breathing I will get back at her for this. It doesn't matter how long it takes or how hard it is for me- This is one grudge I will never get over. Fuck having a fatal flaw. This is war.

Reaching out for that last note I quickly wretched backwards, Clarissa's foot almost smashing down on my hand. She bent over, grasping the paper and tearing it back up to her face. It lingered inches from her nose as she began to read the words to the cronies behind her.

"Dear Percy, I've been friends with you for so long, but I never wanted that. There has been so much between us- so many tears and good times. I didn't want your friendship, although you're the one I dream about. I miss you when you're gone and I hurt for you when you're sad. I love you, for everything you are and with ever little flaw you have." There was a snort as Clarissa dropped the last note to the ground before stomping on it, grounding the letter into the soft earth. She glanced at me with loathing, yet there was a drastic cruelty in her eyes. It took me a moment to cope with what had just happened- to understand that this was actually real life and not some twisted nightmare. Stumbling back to my feet I looked away from the crowd, my head spinning. I can't help but wonder what's going on in the beast's mind. I swear if I hand my sword I would wipe that fucking smug smile off her face.

"It's so sweet- these little notes. I never would have guessed that you were so in love with Jackson! Poor little lover boy!" The taunting words hit me like a gush of cold air. I shivered as Clarissa stepped closer to me, eyes boarding into my own. The sudden urge to look away from her was nearly unbearable, but I wouldn't dare lose her gaze. I would stand my ground. It wasn't until she shoved me back that I grappled to my side, the realization that I didn't have my sword not dawning on me yet. The impulsive action caused the bearish girl to give a snicker of amusement, "This is going to ruin you. Especially when your sweetheart finds out."

My fingernails cut harshly into my own palm as I wretched for something to hold onto. I really hated her. No one would ever know how much I hated her.

"Clarissa, stop!" The cold, demanding voice etched through the air like a cackle of lightening, even though her voice cracked mid-sentence. My eyes reluctantly took a glimpse at the form approaching us. Only one thought crossed my mind at that moment; of fucking course. Annabeth strolled forward, looking between me and Clarissa with an icy gaze, slicing through my body and soul in one swift movement. This couldn't get any worse. Either the gods were unhappy with something or they just wanted to see me suffer- like a bug under a microscope.

Annabeth stepped before me, staring at Clarissa as though she was peering down into the dark depths of Tartarus. She looked overwhelmed with anger and hatred- eyes glowering with an intense light, cheeks flushed with a fierce, fiery anger. It was a look that didn't consume her often, clashing with her calm and collective personality. Surging forward Annabeth approached the girl nearly bumping into her in the process. I watched her with a hint of amusement before clambering to me feet tensely. Although it was with great pleasure that I watched Annabeth stand up to Clarissa I also had an overwhelming sense of loathing. I could fight me own battles. I didn't need someone else standing up for me- I could do that myself.

"Fine, protect him," Clarissa spat. Having missed half the conversation, deep in my own thoughts, I assumed Annabeth had said something on my behalf. I wish she would just leave me alone. This wasn't any of her business. Watching them both, glancing from Clarissa to Annabeth and then back, I had to wonder what was going through her mind. With a sudden burst of energy, Clarissa bent over and grabbed the crushed letter from the ground before holding it out to the other girl, the rough, dirt caked paper gently brushing her cheek as Clarissa forced it before her. "Just read this first. Although, I'm sure you've read over these many times by now."

Annabeth snatched the paper out of her grasp, quickly shoveling it in her pocket and turning back to me. I stared back at her with disgust, a pit of fire rising up in my chest.

"I'm so, so sorry." Annabeth's voice came out a harsh whisper, stinging my ears as I listened to the striking words. Her voice, once as crisp as a mid-summer breeze, was now tough and scratchy. The words lingered in the consuming darkness of the fading day, embers still glowering from the camp fire in the distance. I didn't know what to say to her at that point. I could have lived without knowing that she had something to do with this. I could have lived perfectly happy knowing that Clarissa was the one who took the notes from my cabin, being her usual bitchy self.

A growl escaped my lips as I spat before her, cursing loudly under my breath. The fire burned in my chest as I looked at her with an accusing, piercing gaze. Annabeth shrunk back slightly (something that I had never seen her do) as I stormed passed her, fury gripping my chest and rocking me to the core. The seething rage was nearly unbearable. The heat consumed me, trying to break me. My feet struck the hard earth with force as I staggered away towards my cabin, the other campers still laughing and hollering with amusement behind me. Annabeth's eyes lingered on me- I could feel those usually calm and collected gray orbs pitying me. I waited till I was completely out of sight before I took off at a sprint, begging for the sweet solitude of my lonely cabin as I began to unravel.


	3. Chapter 3

**It's Not Summer Without You  
****Chapter 3: Shatter Me**

* * *

**A/N: Hey there you guys! So glad to finally have chapter three done! I've been kind of sluggish with my writing. I don't know what it is but, lately I've been having so much trouble getting my fan fictions written and everything. Maybe it's were school is winding down or maybe I'm just getting kind of lazy. Who knows? Anyways I hope you enjoy this chapter and I will try to get chapters posted more quickly after this. Please leave a comment after you read. I always appreciate that! Have a super, awesome, beautiful day! :D**

* * *

I awoke to a world of black. As morning approached quickly, the darkened sky fading into a mellow blue, the world seemed off tilt: the sun was dimmer, the clouds were heavier, the air was thicker. Shadows seemed to be deeper than ebony, sloshing through the room like an ink blot that was leaking into the air, tainting it with wicked poison. The air had a jagged chill to it, coating me in ice and causing goose bumps to perk up on my flesh. Even with two or three blankets pilled on my body, the soft fabric drowning me, cold seemed to bleed through my defenses and tarnish my body. I ached to feel the swathing heat of an average summer morning, full of sunlight and the faint hint of earth riding in the breeze, however, this morning was different. It seems that the world is conforming to my mood: Drowning silently in its own sorrow. My fingers cast outwards as I grappled for the bed propping myself up on one elbow and peering throughout the bedroom with loathing. I actually don't remember coming back to my cabin the night prior or going to sleep either. It doesn't matter though. The whole night is a complete blur to me now that I look back on it, only certain, vivid memories coming together enough for me to make sense of what happened. Although everything is unclear I remember the dull, numbing pain that still lingers in my body and mind. It may have been much more intense last night, but now it feels completely faded, only a seething ember of what once was. My stomach clenches inwards as I realize what the day holds for me, what kind of persecution I will have to deal with. I'm not ready for it. I'm not ready for the truth to come out or to be revoked for my feelings. I know it's going to be hell and, to be honest; I would rather run away again than deal with all of this. Maybe that's a little bit over dramatic or maybe I'm just being a drama queen, but I don't care. I would rather be alone in my pain rather than have people gawk at me, watching me suffer like a bug under a microscope.

"Shit…." I mumbled weakly under my breath as I stretched the tension out of my shoulders and back. Grabbing the bunk post I pulled myself upwards, stumbling weakly to my feet. Dragging my fingers along the wood I cried out, pricking my finger on a splintered end. I really need to fix that thing.

Grabbing my aviator jacket, not bothering to change out of my dirty clothes, I pulled it onto my shoulders. I can still smell the deep, hazy scent of charred wood and luscious smoke as it coats my body and clothes, penetrating my skin to a point of where it cannot be washed away. My Camp Half-Blood shirt is also stained and coated with dirt from the day prior, but I don't mind it. Or maybe I just don't care. The jacket covers most of it anyways.

Grappling my way out the door to my cabin I head towards the dinning pavilion, my stomach yearning for food for once. It's very unusually for me to become hungry enough to actually want to go eat. Very rare indeed…

Walking silently through camp, my eyes focused on the softened, gritty earth, I clasped both my hands together watching mutely as blood trickled down my finger and across my ivory skin. The crimson stained the flesh and seeped into my bones, causing me to ache for no reason in particular. My own blood felt like fire against my hand, but I made no attempt to wash it away.

* * *

My palms itched like crazy as I approached the dinning pavilion. I don't know why, but ever since I was a young child my hands would itch when I was nervous, coated in sweat and red marks from my ballistic nails as I tried to banish the worry. This time was no different as the pale, chalky skin was dancing with a wild red, looking as though I had been painted with pomegranate juice. I would have simply skipped breakfast, skipped the worry and the scratching, if it had not been for my stomach growling like a stray dog as it fought for a scrap of meat. It was strange- being so afraid of something, but knowing I will be at peace afterwards. Everything will be fine once I just barrel through the beginning. The only way to get out is to go through.

The dinning pavilion is silent as I approach. The crowd seems to be listening as I stalk to my table, waiting to see if I would say something, snickering lightly. At this moment it becomes all too clear to me that Camp Half-Blood is exactly like a high school. Some may be familiar with that moment at school; everyone is sitting there eating lunch, chattering on about random topics amongst themselves when suddenly _that girl_ walks in- the one who everyone is talking about, the one who is supposedly the new school slut according to rumors. The whole room collapses into a persistent silence as her eyes dart throughout the area, scoping out accusing faces and knowing smiles. Realizing that they were all talking about her, thinking about her, judging her.

I stalked to my table in silence, trying my best to hold my head high and keep my back erect. Even with everyone staring at me I made my way through the crowds, not allowing anyone to see how hurt I was, how broken I was. They watched with wicked whispers slurring from their lips, calling out obscene things through the silence as though they were immune to punishment of such actions. I easily made a list of the words that wisped through the pavilion: freak, weirdo, man whore….the list goes on and on. One set me off though, one broke through my wall of defense as I listen to it.

"Fag!" The word sent a chill down my spine, wracking me to the very core and spiraling a chain of ice through my veins. It was the one word I had been avoiding, the one thing that hit me the hardest. I don't know why that bothered me so much, but it was like someone was dragging a dagger across my neck, waiting for the blood to pour. Jerking around wildly I looked at them with burning eyes, rage seething in my heart. My fingers slinked behind my back, clambering around the hilt of my sword as it remained in its sheath. With one quick movement I could have pulled the blade outwards, moving in a slashing, severing motion and causing damage- breaking someone beyond repair. It would have felt good to cause someone else to hurt. To break them like they were breaking me. After all revenge is sweet, but as I clambered forward, coming closer and closer to the boy at the Apollo table, I could see the fear in his eyes, flickering like a fading flame until it sputtered and died. His calm, coasting smile dropped as his heart plummeted in his chest. I could tell just from the acceleration of his heartbeat that everything around him was being blurred out, fear replacing his better judgment.

"What was that?" I hissed out as anger burned through me, causing my vision to ebb and distort. The boy swallowed deeply as he eyed my sword with caution, his fear growing with each ticking second. I could see the sweat trickling down his face as a tender shutter ran through his skinny form. After a moment I pulled back, guilt swelling in my chest as I realized how truly terrified the boy was. Looking down into those crystal blue orbs I sighed, noticing that breakfast had been passed out and now everyone was staring at me.

Nodding with a shudder of embarrassment I hightailed it back to my own table. As I sat down I felt sick to my stomach, the churning waves inside making me want to vomit. Looking at my plate I plucked off a handful of grapes, not even bothering to glance at the other food choices, before pushing it away with distaste. Thoughts of hatred and pain wracked my mind as I slipped one of the grapes into my mouth, tasting the bitter yet sweet juices and pitting out the thin skin. With retching hands I tangled my right fist into the soft table cloth, winding it and unwinding it, twisting it and untwisting it. I perked up as a voice behind me caught my attention and causing my blood to bleed cold.

"How are things going with your new boyfriend, Jackson?" The voice questioned with a edge of amusement. I stiffened tightly as the words ruffled around me, slinking through my mind and eating away at my senses. The footsteps chugged off as the voice faded, the Poseidon table now coming to a striking silence. I waited a moment, gathering my courage, before turning my head to the right and focusing in on the boy. His face was cast downwards to the table, looking shadowed and broken. The heat rose up in my face as I realized how blatantly bothered he was by all of this. People stared at Percy as though he was a major contributor to this situation as well. Sitting back upwards, brushing his beautiful bangs out of his eyes, Percy glanced around the pavilion, looking with heat rising in his face and pain flashing in his eyes. I didn't know how to react as his eyes fell on me, those spiraling orbs of luscious sea green narrowing, looking as shattered as broken glass. My heart yearned as his lips parted softly, his gaze dropping to the table for a moment. He did a completely turn around in a matter of seconds. His mouth snapped shut, coral pink lips forming a hard line. My chest ached as the corner of his mouth twitched, showing a faint sign of his blithering anger that boiled underneath in a seething coat. It was with great loathing that I heard a jagged growl ripple from the other boy's neck, his face snapping downwards in fury as he refused to face me again. I watched him for a moment longer as he speared one of the small fruit with his fork viciously; the silver metal glistening in the vivid morning air as he once more swung the utensil downwards, stabbing it as though he was piercing an opponent's heart. Or perhaps it was meant to be my own? I dropped my gaze quickly before turning away. I could understand that he was angry by confession (well, it was a forced confession, but…) or even saddened or sickened, but he didn't have to hate me. It wasn't my fault that all this happened. I didn't want it to come to light.

Sliding back around in my seat, I looked down at my plate, staring at that food as though it was toxic. I picked up another grape. Water sheened against the soft round fruit and dripped across its surface, my eyes focused uncomprehending at the small droplets as they bled into the table cloth. I picked up one of the grapes and popped it into my mouth, the splashing flavor seasoning my taste buds. I managed to eat three grapes and barely keep it down before breakfast was over. I threw up later.

* * *

By the time breakfast was over the chilling edge in the air had peaked, fading away to reveal a blistering hot heat wave underneath. I struggled to breathe as I made my way to the arena for my next order of business of the day: Sword skills. Now that I think about this is just another reason why Camp Half-Blood is exactly like a high school. Just like at Westover Hall we have schedules at camp, each person having different classes. I'm just glad that Percy was going to be nowhere near the arena. It wouldn't really matter anyways. I wasn't going to be there either.

Plopping down at the edge of the forest I just slumped over, my breath coming out in weak raspy gasps. Watching as random campers flooded by I nodded at a few who acknowledged me, whether it be strange looks or sympathy smiles. As the last few stragglers disappeared to their assigned areas I stayed planted at the edge of the forest, my mind dawdling on random thoughts. I couldn't help but wonder what my sister would think if she saw me like this. I know Bianca could be a bitch at times and way over protective, but at this moment I miss her voice, telling me that everything will be alright, pushing me forward and encouraging me to get up off my knees. She was always the one who looked out for me and now, without anyone picking me up, I don't know what I will do.

Just the thought of Bianca sent a spiraling sense of pain erupting in my chest. As much as I wanted to let it go, to allow the pain to simmer and finally disappear, the wound is still fresh. It still hurts.

Smiling faintly to myself, one moment in particular wanders into my mind: We were back at Westover Hall. Back then I was so damn clumsy it wasn't even funny. I would stumble around constantly, tripping over my own feet or running into table corners. It was hard for me to stand on my own feet without banging into something. Like usual I wasn't looking as I made my way towards the stairs on the second floor, heading back down to the ground floor of Westover's main building. I was just shuffling through my binder, trying my best to straighten everything out, when suddenly I was lying flat on my back as my head slammed into the harsh concrete flooring. I clambered back to my feet weakly, not realizing the extent of my injuries as I stood up. It wasn't until Bianca surged up behind me, whipping me around in a furry, did I realize the back of my head was bleeding. She automatically rushed me to the nurse, dragging me down the hallway by my shirt collar as I spat out protests.

Thinking back on this now I think I took Bianca's parenting nature for granted. Now that I have no one looking out for me I wish she was here again, yelling at me to not be a bother to others and to be polite. She may have been a pain in the ass, but I truly do miss her like hell.

Just thinking about Bianca made my chest clench, tears threatening to pour from my eyes for the first time in a long time. A light sniffle came from my throat before my self-pity was quickly put on hold, my attention now being focused on the person before me as I was shoved backwards. Maybe it was better that someone wanted to start a fight with me. Tears are for the weak anyways.

I glared at Clarisse with fire flickering in my heart, my soul turning as dark as Tartarus. "What do you want?!"

"I was just wondering how our little lover boy is doing. By the way Chiron is looking for you over at the arena. Something about you skipping out on sword skills. I doubt he's very happy with that." She gave me a wicked grin as her voice began to raise, becoming louder and clearer as she spoke.

"Leave me alone. This is none of your businesses. Haven't you caused enough damage?" I lowered my voice to a defiant growl, daring her to make a move towards me. Clarisse swayed lightly as though she was considering rushing me, taking note of my posture and footing, watching how I hunched over and my hand rested weakly on my sword's sheath. She raised my bluff.

Grappling for my arms she pinned me to a large tree at the edge of the forest, holding me tensely with on hand as the other groped for something in her back pocket. She produced a dagger and held it up. At least it wasn't her usual spear.

"No need to get snippy." She brayed back to the other campers behind her, however, the words were directed to me. I hadn't noticed it before, but at least a group of eight rested behind her, snickering lightly as though she was cracking a joke.

"Fuck you." I branded out effortlessly, not putting too much harshness in my voice although I wished I had sounded so much more wicked. In the end the words were just flat.

Clarisse's face drooped as she heard the words hiss from amid my pale, chapped lips. Her brown eyes darkened to the shade of tar, the black sticky liquid bubbling as anger fueled her. She landed a decisive blow to my lower stomach, allowing my wrist to slip from her hands as I stumbled back, clutching my lower body. It hurt like hell. Staggering to a common ground, now able to stand efficiently, I waited as she surged towards me again, rolling just out of her reach as she grappled for me. Tumbling back around I landed a harsh kick to the back of her legs and watched proudly as she collapsed to the ground, her knees giving out. Hand to hand combat wasn't my forte, but I had to admit I was holding my own. That is, until one of the other campers grabbed me from behind, trapping me in his heavy arms. I glared at Clarisse as she clambered back towards us, as angry as a rabid dog. She snapped at me harshly, her beefy hand tucking around my shirt collar as she pulled me towards her, forcing me to eye level.

"You little son of a bitch…." I waited as reeled back her hand, ready to dive in a devastating blow.

"Leave him alone!" The voice boomed. Annabeth swore under her breath, the golden dagger shimmering in the evening light. A shockwave of surprise and fear surged through the weary crowd, crippling any form of revocation. The boy holding me quickly released his grip, stumbling back like every one else. They could have beaten me alone, but me and Annabeth….not a chance. Even though her support withered before her, Clarisse stood her ground, glaring at me with a cruel sneer. I wish the fat bitch would just fuck off! It's not any of her business anyways. What did she have to do with this? Why did she have to come along and make everything worse? Shaking my head I already knew the answer to that; because she could, because anyone could. They stepped all over me because I allowed it and shrank down under the pressure of the entire situation. With my body and mind falling under the siege I was in no condition to face the fire and I was _definitely _in no condition to face Clarisse. She may be a decent person, whether it is in battle or just as a friend, but if you showed her were it hurt she would only make it worse. She would go out of her way to break you, but I'm not going to stand for it.

In moment of sheer unwillingness and seething rage, I grappled for my sword, that cool blade gliding gently from the sheath. It struck the burning air with a cracking sound, steam rising from the chilling metal as it cut through the warmth like melted butter. My blood boiled as the tip lined with her chest, ready to pierce her heart if I was egged on. My sword- stygian iron, black as a nightmare and truly frightening. Enough to make the dead cower in fear and the living shrink into oblivion. It strikes fear into its owner's enemies. Easy to use and ready to strike. If I do anything- move my hand at the least- the blade would claim another life. How easy would it be? Could I actually kill her if she provoked me again? Yes, yes I could.

"Enough!" I hissed as my voice lowered to a rumble. Clarisse's eyes widened to the size of saucers, captivated by the sword that seems to make shadows deeper and soaks the light and heat straight out of the air. She wouldn't dare make a move, but I just prayed she couldn't hear the strong, piercing beat of my heart. If she could she would know I was bluffing.

Annabeth looked at me with a strange sense of admiration, shock, and….terror. I got pride from that single glint I caught in her eyes- Just knowing that I could frighten her enough, that I could force her into silence by intimidation, it made me feel strong. It made me feel empowered again. This moment gave me that strangled sense of hope that I could actually do something great or become something more than a weak link or a freak. I would never and, I swear, never go back to being that strange, pathetic kid from Westover Hall. No one would ever see me like that again.


	4. Chapter 4

**It's Not Summer Without You ****  
Chapter 4: Better off Friends**

* * *

**A/N: Hey everyone! So glad to have a new chapter posted. Yah for summer! I finally have enough time to write. I'm kind of bummed though because I just got out of school on the sixth and everywhere else got out in like May. I feel like our Summer is less than everyone else's. UGH! Stupid Kentucky whether and snow days! Anyways, I hope you all have are having a great summer vacation so far and I also hope you enjoy this new chapter. Thank you all so, so, so much for checking out this new chapter. I always appreciate comments and favorites from ya'll. Once again thank you all for reading and commenting. I hope you have a super, great, fabulous day and I will see you guys soon! :D **

* * *

I felt empowered, no longer chained by the troubling persecution that had been consuming me for the last few days. Standing before this group of people, sword in hand and arms outstretched, I knew it would be so much easier to pull the trigger, to give in to the disheartening thought of terminating the person before. Despite this some part of me wanted to draw back, wanted to just halt and think it over. That part of me wasn't strong enough to unsettle my decision.

"Nico, come on. Stop." Annabeth's voice was low and hushed as she lowered the dagger in her hand. I regarded back between her and Clarissa, both staring at me with some form of trepidation. Those looks sent a string of revulsion through me veins, burning me like a shot of liquid fire into my heart. I hadn't comprehended it instantaneously, but my body had moved closer, nearing Clarissa with wicked sense of discrimination. I hated her. Gods, how I hated her.

Lowering my own sword with resignation I glanced at the girl beside me, taking a deep raspy breath as the tightening in my chest continued to restrict. Looking at her I couldn't help, but understand Percy's attraction towards Annabeth. She was something special, I would give her that. The sun was caught in her blond hair, seeping through the long trestles and cascading across her shoulder like liquid gold. Her gray eyes flickered wildly with concentration, thoughts being shown as they flew through her mind at a mile a minute. Her jaw was set tight, grinding her teeth with intensification.

"F-fine….If she ever tries anything like this again, I swear….," I bite firmly on the side of my mouth, the words being absent in a heated jumble of inexpressible emotions. Running my hands through my hair with austerity I listened to the steady breathing of Annabeth, her face tensing and scrunching as she impended on the following result of my threat.

"Nico, just leave it as a hollow threat," Annabeth comment passively as she glanced over at Clarissa. The daughter of Ares stood erect, face desensitization with anger. A flash of exploding color spray over her cheeks as embarrassment spread through her. In a flare of spawning fury she threw up her hands, chest heaving as a tremble surged through her body. With frumpy, uncaring footsteps Clarissa tromped away from me and Annabeth, not bothering to command her group as they stumbled around blindly. The others finally managed to glide their way away from us, each one fumbling in a different direction as they headed to the same location.

My lunges felt like they were filled with ice, restricting my breath and causing me to convulse softly. I know I shouldn't dwell on Clarissa's actions to much. After all there are a lot of kids that are tortured by the beast and have it worse off than me, but I have to wonder if anyone else will react the same way: cold, detestable, and discriminating. I'm not asking for anyone's sympathy, but I definitely don't want the victimized. It's not even that big of a deal- having a crush on Percy. The whole camp is just acting like sixth grade girls, gossiping and chattering about crushes and rumors.

Annabeth huffed out a breath beside me, slumping to the ground in a cloud of dust and loose grass. Her face was pale and strands of lose hair plastered against her forehead. I could see the confusion in her eyes. She didn't understand why this all matter so much to me. She didn't understand how it felt to be an outsider.

"I'm glad you didn't hurt her." Annabeth admitted to me as she cupped her hands under her chin. Forcing her face back upwards she met my eyes with curiosity, her own stormy ashen orbs boarding into ebony, "Sit with me."

I watched as she padded the tender earth beside her, clouds of dark dust puffing up like fumes. . Dirt and clips of dead grass sunk below her fingernails, piercing her skin and showing through the clear coat. Her face was stern although eyes beseeched. Finally, watching persistently, I broke and collapsed to the ground next to her. Our bodies were so close, our skin touching and breath mingling. Each movement between us was felt by the other and instantly discomfort flooded my form. Another convulsion ran through me, shaking me to the core, and I knew Annabeth felt it. She even shifted along with me, just not as violently. I don't know if it was my nerves or just being near the girl, but I felt like I was about to throw up.

"So, how are you doing?" Annabeth asked cautiously as she picked a strand of grass from the fabric of my t-shirt, "I know things must be tough for you with all…..this going on."

"It wouldn't have happened if you could have minded your own damn business." I garbled out as my voice tense, the words becoming strained.

"Nico, do you really believe I would have told everyone about this? I would have come and talked to you instead of spreading rumors around. I would never hurt you." The ferociousness came forth in Annabeth strikingly, bubbling up above the surface in a wave of sudden passion.

"Then who did?!" I cried as the anger mused up in me as well, flooding me with the sense to protect myself.

"It was Clarissa! Clarissa is the one who told everyone. Clarissa is the one who spread this rumor around camp. I admit: It started with me. When you left your cabin I did go in. I saw the paper wads on the floor and I was going to pick them up for you. I know that probably sounds unbelievable, but I really thought I was being helpful. I was going to straighten them out and lay them on your bed, but I caught a glimpse of what they said. Yes, I took them. I took them and I read them and I know it was cruel and unfair, but I did it. I wasn't going to tell anyone else about it. I was going to give them back to you and tell you how sorry I was about this. Just forget what happened and go back to the way things were. Then Clarissa took them from me. I didn't realize she was going to take them before she came up behind me and grabbed them out of my hands. After that you know what happened. I didn't mean it. I'm so, so, so sorry for everything," Annabeth begged for my acceptance of her apologize as her eyes meet my own, "I hope you can forgive me. I know this must be so hard for you. Me and you have never been good friends. To be honest I always thought you hated me. So, it must be even worse to have someone you don't even like do this to you and ask for forgiveness. I just have to say again I'm so sorry."

"I don't hate you," I protested, "And I accept your apologize. I couldn't believe you had done it to begin with. I know you and I know that you would never do anything this low down and awful."

The daughter of Athena bowed her head in gratitude as though I had given her some great honor. I could see the shine coasting over her eyes as though she was about to cry. I didn't need it though. I was happy that she didn't do it. Annabeth is a good person. You can see it in her actions, in her eyes. I wouldn't want to know if she did something like that to me.

"So, how long have you been… you know… gay?" Annabeth questioned softly. Just from her voice I could tell that she was being tender with the topic. I appreciated the effort.

"I'm not really gay….," I murmured under my breath uncertainly. Stealing a glance at Annabeth I noted the way her forehead creased in misunderstanding before her face lightened, clarity dawning on her. Perhaps I should have explained more, but I didn't know how much clearer I could be. Maybe she would think I was bisexual and that's pretty close to the truth, but not exact, "I think I'm pansexual to be more exact. You see I have dated a girl before. It was nothing serious, but holding hands and walking together in the hallways of Westover Hall. I think her name was Elizabeth. Or maybe it wasn't. Either way I know for a fact that Bianca disagreed with my decision to start dating so early"

I snorted weakly at the distant thought of my sister, face stern as she lectured me on how I shouldn't have a girlfriend when I'm ten. I admit I was pretty young, but to be honest almost everyone in my class was dating at that point in time. It was just one of those things that kids did to feel more mature even though they didn't take it seriously.

"Pansexual? Meaning you're not really limited based on gender and you just fall in love with whoever you fall in love with." Annabeth's forehead crinkled once again, mind swimming as she fished out the term from her extensive memory bank.

"Exactly," I clarified, at least appreciating that she was trying to understand my feeling, "But I hope you know that I'm not like trying to steal your boyfriend or anything. I know how much Percy means to you. I would never do anything to get between you two."

"Nico, I know that, but to be honest, me and Percy have been…..I don't know. Losing the spark lately." Annabeth admitted, closing her eyes tightly as though it pained her to say so, "I just want you to know that if anything happens between me and Percy- if we break up, if say something happen to me like I die, or I get seriously injured, I just want you to take care of Percy. He trusts you. He knows you. He does care about you."

I stared at the girl with ice in my heart, not completely understanding what she was asking me. If she died? If her and Percy broke up? Was she giving me a free ticket to take Percy if something happened to her? I snorted in retort, "You know he's never going to talk to me again. He probably hates me."

"Who hates you?" The voice was so sudden that it sent a spindle of ice lacing through me. I turned around in a flurry, my vision blurred before coming back into vivid clarity. I stared at the boy who loomed over me with a sense of fear and admiration. Percy looked down at me with the same laidback smile that always seemed to occupy his face. The grin expanded light as he realized that he had captivated my attention. His eyes swam as his curiosity was peeked, beautiful mixtures of aqua and green becoming mingled as he flopped down between the two of us. He stared back at me and the daughter of Athena with his head cocked to the side, trying his best to read the two of us.

"N-No one." I sputtered quickly as my voice refused to work properly. My eyes flickered cautiously over at Annabeth, searching her for a form of help. She simply raised here eyebrows as though to say tough luck. I could see the awkwardness affecting her as well.

"So no one hates you. I don't see a problem with that." Percy said in good nature as he gave a gentle laugh, "So why are you two out here anyways?"

"Actually," Annabeth piped up quickly as she stumbled to her feet, "I was about to leave. I believe I need to get back to the strawberry fields anyways. They probably need me to help collect berries. I'll see you later Percy. Bye Nico. I'm so glad I could talk to you."

I followed her as she went, my eyes daring her to take another step. She met my gaze for half a second before leaning over and kissing Percy on the cheek. He returned the action with a simple nod and a grin. Although this action made me completely uneasy I couldn't help, but appreciate the fact that Percy was down playing his affections. With that Annabeth was gone, dashing through the grass briskly as she made her way towards the strawberry fields.

"So, Nico, how have you been?" Percy asked as he leaned his arm on my shoulder.

"Um….I'm fine I guess." I muttered weakly, my heart beating erratically as my blood pumped.

"You sure that you're alright?" Percy asked once more, "I know this all must be really hard for you."

"No! I'm fine, alright! Just don't talk about it." I protested with wrath, the words spewing out with my lips with venom.

"Nico, calm down! We need to talk about this."

"No! We don't! I know that you probably hate me for feeling like this! I never wanted anyone to know so it's not my fault! Just leave it alone!" I cried as heat and fear bubbled within me. I began to stumble upwards, barely catching my balance before Percy grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the ground.

"Nico, listen to me, I don't care whether or not you're gay, bisexual, or whatever- you're still a great kid and a great friend of mine." Percy grinned weakly before shaking his head, "This whole issue about you having a crush on me is overrated. I mean everyone is acting like it is some big ordeal."

"So, you don't mind me doing this?" I questioned gently as I awkwardly shifted my hand on top of Percy's own, intertwining our fingers before quickly letting go after a moment. I watched as a flush of pink brushed against Percy's cheeks like an airbrush over a white canvas, "That doesn't bother you at all?"

"N-no….I don't mind being around you Nico and I don't mind you touching me….I mean if it's like groping me and stuff then yeah, I'll have a problem with that, but I know that you would never do that. It's not like I wouldn't even begin to think like that about you! You know what I…never mind, I'll just shut up."

"Yeah, I think it would be better if you did. Anyways….You don't have a single problem with me touch you as long as it's appropriate? Me being gay don't bother you in the least bit?" I waved my hand at him.

"No, not at all!" He cried defensively.

"Then I will do this…," I swallowed deeply before I could lose my courage. Sitting up quickly I reached over and gently nip my lips against his own. The kiss only lasted about fifteen seconds or probably less time, but I didn't care. It felt like firecrackers were exploding in my stomach, etching through me like liquid fire in my veins. Heat rose on my face, but my blushing was nothing compared to Percy's own. His face was completely scarlet, the color licking its way down his neck and shoulders tensely. Sitting back down next to him I realized how quickly the tension was fading away from his form. His skin gradually faded back to its normal color.

"Now you're just trying to give people more to gossip about. If anyone saw us doing that then you know exactly what they would think," Percy gave a breezy smile as though the whole thing was a joke and in a way it was.

"Yeah, they would. I just wanted to see how far you would allow me to go before telling me to stop," I said with a sense of humor, "I know people love to spread rumors and everything. I just don't know why it matters to anyone else. Who cares about my personal life? No one has ever paid that much attention to me before. Just because I could be attracted to a male or a female doesn't make a difference to who I am, what I am, or what I do. I'm still the son of Hades. I'm still the Ghost King. I'm still me."

"Nico, I doubt that any of us would want you to be anyone but you," Percy muttered as he gave me a small smile, "And if someone wants you to change then they don't matter. They don't care about you. You just got to be….well, you. Don't try to change to fit it with the crowd."

"I've never tried before."

"I know. You always stay you and I love that. I wish I could stop worrying about what everyone things about me and just be more like you. I see you walk around here like you're so much better than everyone else and to be honest you are. You stay above all the gossip, all the drama. In my opinion I would love to be you just so I can do what I want and not have anyone judge me."

"You have no idea what you're talking about." I replied wistfully, shaking my head at his admitting.

Percy looked at me with sadness reflected in his face. I know he understood what I meant by that. He knew what I had been through for the last few years. Everything with Bianca, finding out I was a demigod, finding out what happened to my family, dealing with my father- Percy had been through it all with me and he knew exactly how I felt with all this. I had to admire his persistence with trying to help me.

"Nico, I…." Percy paused as campers started to flood throughout the area, moving from one place to another. Some were heading to the arena, others towards the strawberry fields. I took a deep breath as loathing flooded my form, causing an uneasiness to swaddle me as I knew what was coming. Eventually I would have to get back on schedule with my regular Camp Half-Blood activities (No matter how much I faced this with distaste).

"Well, looks like we better be going." Percy murmured weakly as he clambered to his feet, struggling to catch his footing before he fell. Looking down at me with a crooked grin (one that I had grown to love over the years) I felt heat flood my chest and heart, sending signals through my body like pits of fire growing in my form. His hand extended to me leisurely, fingers opening widely as he pulled me upwards to my own feet. I took his hand with appreciation, grinning as I felt the softness of his skin, the tenderness of his action as he pulled me back up.

"Thanks." I said coolly although my insides were turning to mush, my body overflowing with contentment at this one movement.

"No problem." He shrugged his shoulders causally as he turned to follow a group of campers. He stopped short before glancing back at me, eyes flashing with a strange look that I had never seen, "Nico, later I want to talk to you again, alright?"

"Alright." I whispered softly although he didn't wait for an answer. The words were more of a request than a question. The moment that sentence left his lips Percy was turned, heading back towards the other campers that shuffled along to their next designated assignment.

I watched the boy go, my heart warming with each step he took. It didn't matter if he knew about me and how I felt. He cared about me- whether it be in a brotherly manner or as more, I didn't care. At least he didn't hate me.


End file.
